Embracing the unexpected

Auroville Today: How was your early life in Denmark? Has adoption shaped your sense of identity?

Sang: That’s actually one of the most interesting parts. I always knew I was adopted. My parents told me I was adopted, and nobody questioned it. But as soon as I started to travel, you know, you sit around singing Kumbaya, and people ask, “Where are you from?” I’d say, “I’m from Denmark.” And nobody would believe me. I’d have to get out my passport because they wouldn’t just accept that I was from Denmark.

They wouldn’t think beyond the obvious. In Denmark, they didn’t question it because so many adopted kids are from Korea. But when you travel, people only think of Danes as blonde-haired and blue-eyed. It was very strange to have my nationality questioned. That didn’t happen until I started travelling when I was 18. Before that, I never questioned my sense of self.

You never felt different from your siblings?

No, not really. The only thing that made me uncomfortable was my name. People would question it, like, is it a boy’s name? A girl’s name? How do you pronounce it? But no one questioned my appearance. My family always made me feel like I belonged, and my siblings treated me no differently than any other family member. We shared everything, from toys to experiences, and there was never a moment where I felt like an outsider in my own home.

It helped that I wasn’t living in a big city. Everybody knew everybody. There were other parents in my community who adopted children from Korea too, so it was normal, I wasn’t the only one. In our small town, diversity was embraced in a way that made everyone feel like they were part of a larger family. The sense of community was strong, and people supported each other regardless of background.

You weren’t bullied because you looked different?

No. The only time I experienced racism was in America, working at a restaurant where some Spanish people didn’t want to be served by me because I looked Asian. It was quite a shock because I’d never faced that kind of judgement before.

In Denmark, there was a level of understanding and acceptance that I had taken for granted until I encountered prejudice elsewhere. When I came to south India, people were just curious about me. They thought I was from north India and treated me very nicely.

Travelling in India was a different experience for you?

Yes, in India, people are curious but very welcoming. They treat guests with curiosity and respect. It was very different from travelling in European countries where people often thought I was Japanese. In India, the curiosity was genuine and often led to enriching conversations. People wanted to know about my background, my journey, and my experiences, which made me feel valued and seen.

Sometimes when travelling, just saying I was Korean was easier than explaining that I was adopted. People would ask if I remembered anything from Korea or if I wanted to go back, but I never had that desire. I looked at my adoption papers and talked to my parents about it, but I always wanted to travel to India. I felt a unique connection to India that I couldn’t explain.

Why India?

India is so mad, so vibrant. You can never be bored here. It challenges you on all levels. Coming from Denmark with its punctuality and order, it was a big adjustment, but I learned to embrace the chaos. It’s a land of wonders. The colours, the sounds, the smells — everything is intense and alive. In India, every day is an adventure. You wake up not knowing what the day will bring, and that’s exciting. It pushes you out of your comfort zone and makes you grow in ways you never thought possible.

Do you miss it when you’re not here?

Sometimes, yes. Denmark can make me restless after a while. Here, I enjoy roaming around on my e-bike, meeting people, and being part of a small community where people accept you for who you are. There’s always something happening. It keeps life interesting and full of possibilities.

How did you first come to Auroville?

I was playing chess in Puri on the beach. Someone suggested I visit this community, they thought I’d really like it, so I did, and within two days I knew this was where I wanted to be. It was 1996, I stayed at Matrimandir Camp, and immediately felt that I became part of the community.

I was renting a room there for 50 rupees a day, and at night I would go to sleep under the Matrimandir, which was still a skeleton, and I would fall asleep watching the stars through the beams.

But eventually, I needed another place to stay because my funds had run out. Marush was heading to Germany at the time and offered me her house. So I ended up being part of the Certitude community. They were incredibly welcoming, and since it was the hot season, everything seemed to slow down a bit. I started giving massages, and that opened many doors for me. It was through massage that I met many of my friends and now consider them my family.

Were you doing massage therapy in Denmark too?

No, I was trained in Australia. I worked there and learned different styles of massage. When I came back here, I started training others and volunteering. It was a very open and learning-focused environment. In Australia, I discovered my passion for healing and helping others. It was a transformative experience that set me on a path of continuous learning and growth.

How long did you stay in Auroville on your first visit?

I stayed for three months, then travelled around the world and came back in 2000. I was involved in various projects, giving massages, and working in different areas. Auroville was vibrant and open to me. I felt a sense of belonging that I had been searching for. The community was diverse, and everyone brought something unique to the table.

So you’ve always been involved in different things here?

Yes, that’s the magic of being here. There are always new opportunities. In Auroville, I’ve been involved in various projects, from sustainable living initiatives to community health programmes. I teach yoga, give massages, and work on projects that promote holistic well-being. Every experience has taught me something new. It keeps life dynamic and fulfilling.

And now you’re looking to become a doula?

Yes, I want to specialise in pregnancy care. It’s magical working with pregnant women. I’ve been fortunate to support women through their entire pregnancy, and supporting women during pregnancy is a deeply rewarding experience. It’s a time of profound change and growth, and being part of that journey is incredibly fulfilling.

Working with pregnant women requires a deep sense of empathy and understanding. It’s about being present, listening, and providing the support they need at every stage of their journey.

I want to do more research and learn how to better support them. I’m waiting for admission to a doula course.

What will this course allow you to do?

It will certify me as a midwife’s assistant. I’ll be there for women throughout their pregnancy, supporting them in various ways. We’re already participating in prenatal classes and learning a lot. The course will provide me with the skills and knowledge to offer comprehensive support, from prenatal care to postpartum recovery. It’s about empowering women and helping them have a positive and healthy pregnancy experience.

The aim is to equip doulas with the skills to offer pregnancy massage, providing relief and a special time for pregnant women to relax and alleviate some of the physical and mental stresses of pregnancy.

So this is almost like an extension of your other work?

Yes, it’s a natural extension. I’m very excited about it. With Morning Star, we are working on applying officially for this course at a maternity hospital in Hyderabad, so that we can be certified through them. But the process has been delayed for many months for bureaucratic reasons that are beyond our control.

Instead of being frustrated, and impatient, this is teaching me patience and acceptance.

What else in life gives you joy?

Auroville. It’s a special place. I fell in love with it immediately. It’s a community that accepts you for who you are and offers endless opportunities for growth and learning. Auroville is a place where people come together to create a better world. It’s a community based on shared values of peace, sustainability, and human unity, and the community in Auroville is very supportive. People come together to help each other in times of need, whether it’s through sharing resources, offering emotional support, or working on community projects. There is a strong sense of solidarity and mutual respect. People work to create a harmonious and sustainable community, and that spirit of collaboration is what makes Auroville so special.

Being part of Auroville has given me a sense of purpose and a place where I can truly be myself.

How has Auroville shaped your journey?

I often describe this place as a melting pot of black sheep. It’s where individuals who might not fit in other environments find their place. I find that this place resonates with me deeply. I consider myself a simple person, and here, simplicity makes sense. My way of living, which includes a relaxed sense of time and a focus on the small joys – like walking barefoot in the garden, chatting with my cats, observing birds, and dealing with ants – feels natural to me.

In Europe, I never quite fit in. My priorities and lifestyle are different from the fast-paced environment there. Here, I feel like I’m creating a personal utopia, even though it’s still a work in progress.

What challenges have you faced in your journey?

One of the biggest challenges I’ve faced is balancing my personal life with my various commitments. It can be difficult to manage multiple projects and responsibilities while also taking care of myself. However, I’ve learned the importance of self-care and setting boundaries. Another challenge is dealing with the uncertainties and unpredictabilities of life in India. But these challenges have also taught me resilience and adaptability.

How do you overcome these challenges?

By staying grounded and focused on my goals. I practise mindfulness and meditation to maintain a sense of inner peace. I also rely on the support of my friends and community in Auroville. They provide a strong network of support and encouragement. Additionally, I remind myself of the reasons why I chose this path and the positive impact I’m making, which helps me stay motivated and committed.

I’m excited about the future. I’m looking forward to completing my doula course and continuing my work with pregnant women. I’m also planning to expand my involvement in community projects in Auroville, focusing on sustainability and holistic well-being. There are so many possibilities, and I’m eager to see where the journey takes me.