Bob talks about his first meeting with The Mother in 1971

However, when I got to the passageway outside her room, I became aware of a powerful spiritual force in the air, like an electromagnetic field, a force field of tangible but peaceful power. My mind was clear and quiet, but it was also dazed, set back by this spiritual power emanating from her and from her room.

I was in a queue. I watched others ahead of me kneel down before her and look into her eyes as she looked into theirs. Some people seemed unsettled by her gaze and did not stay long, almost as if they could tell that she could see deep into them and they didn’t like it.

When my time came, I cast a glance at her attendant, Champaklal. He flashed me a huge smile and my heart just lit up. Then I turned to the left and saw her for the first time. I did not see a fearsome person, I saw a little old lady hunched over in her chair, with her head leaning to one side. Somehow I could sense that this frail 93-year-old lady was completely open, innocent and vulnerable. She had no defense mechanisms; she was protected by nothing except this tremendous spiritual power that was in her and around her. I felt like protecting her, this lady I had feared meeting!

I knelt down before her and gave her a little bouquet of flowers. When I looked into her eyes, I was carried away. It was like looking into the clear, blue sky. And as I looked into that sky, my consciousness expanded and became larger and lighter; I could feel myself going out and out, and up and up, into the sky of her consciousness. My whole body felt lighter and the dross in me seemed to melt away. I watched all this happening with quiet amazement, and when my mind wanted to understand, I kept saying to it, ‘No, no, now is not the time to think.’

And so I went out and out and up and up, as far as I could go, and there were no borders back there, no horizons, no walls; I could see no end to the sky of her consciousness.

After about a minute, I became aware that as I was looking at her, so she was looking at me! At once I felt a stream of pure love flowing from her eyes into mine, and from there down into my heart, filling it like a chalice with the sweet nectar of her love. And the most beautiful thing was that it did not seem like an impersonal love; no, it was personal. I sensed that she knew me, knew me better than I knew myself, and that she liked what she saw.

She liked me, she liked me! And this meant everything to me, and it still does. She saw the goodness in me, the transcendental goodness, and because she could see it, I could see it too.

After some time, there was such an upwelling of emotion in me that my eyes glazed over and I was about to cry. But for some reason I did not want to cry, so I closed my eyes and bent my head down. Suddenly I felt her hand firmly on my head, firm but gentle. Interestingly, nothing special happened: no more force, no sparks of light, just her hand on my head for about twenty seconds.

I can still feel it.

Then she took her hand away. I had composed myself and I looked up into her eyes again. She looked back at me and poured her love into me, poured and poured, and I knew that the best thing I could do was to receive that love. So I did that for maybe thirty seconds.

Then, suddenly, it struck me: ‘Bob, there are still a few people behind you in the queue! You’ve been here almost five minutes; maybe you’re holding up the show.’ So I prepared to leave. But when I looked into her eyes there was no sign that I should leave. It was as though, without words, she was saying, ‘This is why I live, I live to share this love, and I have all day for this.’

When I got that message I broke down; tears rolled down my cheeks, and I saw for the first time a little smile on her face. She held out to me a blessings packet and a little bouquet of flowers. I got up and walked out of the room like a man on the moon, released from the force of gravity.

That experience stayed with me for about three days, during which time life was full of meaning and I received many insights; my whole life seemed to come together. Above all, I had found someone who truly cared for me, someone I could trust, someone who had showed me what it is possible for a human being to become if one manages to give up desire and ego and live for the Lord.

So that is what is asked of us, that is what she had managed to do; and I have been here ever since, hoping to be a little bit more like her.

And what I feel now in these troubled times is that we need to quietly carry on our work, knowing that there are forces at work behind scenes, forces we cannot see. We must have faith that things will get better because Auroville and the Ashram are her creations, and we are her children and she will protect us. It is by keeping that faith that she can act in us. We need to be as positive as possible – no negative emotions – because this enables her Force and her Grace to work in us.”