An impossible task

An inward look — Words by Krishna (Volodymyr Nyemchyn)

I stopped advertising and promoting the teaching of yoga a long time ago. It’s kind of a bitter irony, truly. Knowing something to be so precious, wonderful, excellent and full of meaning, yet extolling an impossible cost.

The life into which we are born, life of tradition and convention, life of certain security by perpetuating old habits, gives us some sort of security and stability. It might be terrible, it might be killing us in dozens, it might be destroying our lives, bringing them to an untimely demise, yet there is some sort of reassurance that that is the way things are done here. We’ve done it since our early age, we saw it in our parents, we see it in our neighbours and peers, and we either blame or glorify it, but we keep holding on to it.

And then we keep continuously looking for improvements of that unholy thing we call “our life”. We want a bigger living space, more days off from work, a softer sofa, obedient children, a faithful spouse, peace of mind and less stress. We are looking for upgrades, modifications and improvements in any way to “what is”. If we are not doing it, then life loses any meaning, and we quickly spiral down into decay and oblivion.

Yet recent worldwide events touched our lives in very harsh and unexpected ways. We’ve been dislocated, thrown out of our habitual groove of life. Our values, continuity of hope has been dashed aside and try as much as we could, we would never gain our hoped and desired state of peace, comfort and security. Entire nations got dislocated in their way of life and way of thinking.

Yet we keep trying to achieve our status quo, the unholiness and misery of our initial existence by any cost… and we fail, and we try again, only to fail again. The action that does not bring the desired result which is repeated again and again is called neuroticism. And if we do not possess a significant elasticity in our identity, we are bound to get stuck in this neurotic loop of unfruitful behaviour until we change the way we perceive ourselves and the reality inside and outside of us.

Such change of our life outlook with healthy, sane, and positive change requires a tremendous amount of energy, clarity of mind and stability of consciousness. A willful and conscious effort in remodeling our entire being, leaving nothing untouched, scrupulously examining each existing and non-existing thing in ourselves, leaving harmonious and beneficial things, discarding ugliness and imaginary things, is nothing but a process of yoga.

We’ve been given an amazing chance of change and new discovery, the grace of breaking out of the vicious circle of our original faulty pattern, and yet the cost of the success is our life in its entirety. Nothing can remain “too sacred” and escape the change, nothing in us is protected from scrutiny and test by facing the Reality.

We either change or fade into the past, either adapt and discover new life or refuse and are crushed by the grinding wheels of circumstance. It is up to us to summon the courage and needed energy for the change.

Aum