“I knew I was at home”

It took another few years in England to understand that I would not find peace within myself if I continued to reside in my home country. I left when I was 27 to move to another world.

I chose India, as I had left my heart there on my first journey. I bought an old broken-down house in Goa and rebuilt it with hopes of making my dream a reality. I married a man from India, we had two beautiful children and for seven years I tried to believe that I was happy. I was not, so we decided to live apart for some time. I rebuilt my own life with my children and slowly I looked deeper inside of myself to try and understand who I was.

Four years ago I was called to my first real purpose. The school my children attended, The Yellow House Pre-School and Holistic Yellow, was desperately in need of new management. Without someone to step in and take over, the school would have been in trouble.

For over three years the school’s director Karl and I worked together with passion and commitment to reinvent the future vision for the school. We had to teach ourselves our desired approach to holistic education. We worked purely on faith and Google.

Goa is a unique place where people from across the globe gather to find a creative, holistic existence; the school reflects this. We believe education should inspire and that implementing a more open and holistic educational system incites inquiry and creativity. We encouraged the children to explore and discover their environment, learning through experience, and we supported them in realising their own potential and finding their own balance in the world.

Starting with a small school of around 50 students, with no fixed curriculum or any kind of structure, we changed every aspect, from the physical to administration procedures. We introduced the Cambridge Curriculum and began working towards recognition. We built a new pre-school and created an amazing, magical space for our children.

We were challenged every step of our journey from every direction. It was inspirational and emotional. After three years I realised my work of reviving the school was complete. School had been my life. Every breath. Every moment. But it had taken me far away from the need for self-discovery.

I have spent the last year quietly uncovering the real me. It has not been easy. I have had to let go of a lot. I tried to again rebuild my own life. What I didn’t want became clear. What I was looking for I could not find. Knowing that peace comes from within, I let go and surrendered.

A few months ago, I decided that nothing would change inside of me if I stayed in Goa. I had worked so hard to discover my light but found it constantly extinguished with the energy I was surrounded by. I had no idea where I would go but I knew I had to find a new place to call home for my children. I did not know much about Auroville. I had briefly looked at the website last year when I was researching schools in India. I have a few friends who grew up here and I see the Auroville products in every supermarket in Goa. So I had some idea of the community but not much knowledge of the vision. I had no idea there was a Matrimandir or a Mother.

In February, I decided to face my fear of the unknown and start my search for a better life. I planned to journey alone for two weeks by train to Bangalore, then by bus to Auroville and afterwards fly home from Chennai.

I arrived by chance to experience Mother's birthday, Prime Minister Modi’s visit and the 50th Anniversary in the eleven days I was here.

My first time in Auroville was magical and full of synchronicity. I finally felt the peace inside and knew my answer as I sat for the first time in the Matrimandir. After my experience, I introduced myself to my guide, Tim, and asked him where do I begin? He was full of wholehearted stories and advice. He took me to Entry Service and then he took me for lunch and coffee at the Solar Kitchen. There it all began. Tim was one of my synchronicities and is now my friend and my mentor. A few days later, I was blessed to be at the 50th morning meditation in the Amphitheatre I felt the peace inside growing. I knew I was home.

Whilst in Auroville, I realised my passion for astrology was not only a significant element in guiding me through my own realignment process, but also I found a faith in my ability to support my close friends on their own inner journey. I discovered, using astrology, I could assist others in initiating self-transformation, change perspectives and give insight into the depths of our beings. My enthusiasm increased. I felt I knew a little more of who I am.

I returned to Goa for three weeks to pack up my house and say goodbye to the few precious friends I have. I packed everything I could into my little car and alone drove to Auroville. My children came a few weeks later.

We will now explore our new world together. I know they will love it here and thrive in the forests. I want them to understand that life is not defined by money or success, but by reaching into your soul to create a beautiful vision, and that is the reason why we came to Auroville.