What have we learned? (About self & AV)

About Auroville

I have learned, again, that Auroville is a Dream, and as such it can vanish and disappear unless I learn how to nourish and nurture that Dream. What is left to us to do is to keep dreaming and be that dream. Every detail is important, and I see that my daily struggles are not because of others, but because of my own difficulty to manifest that dream that brought me here. I have learned that the present situation can also give Aurovilians lots of alibis to drop the guard and give up.

About myself

Why I entered into difficulty is because I took that dream for granted. When I chose to be one of Mother’s Warriors, when She called me, I knew that it was a 24/7 job. This is the lesson, not to be eaten up by the unhealthy atmosphere that pervaded the belly of Auroville! 

When I feel troubled and angry at the situation, I have learned to do small things. Like if my fists become clenched, I can gently reopen my hands. If I have tears in my eyes, I can smile, until my heart joins in. This helps me rest for a while, preparing for what the future has in stock for me… and for us….

(74 years old, 41 years in Auroville)

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About Auroville

That Auroville's mental being is underdeveloped. There are beautiful and healthy patterns of life taking place here which are already normalised, but often not much awareness about how these patterns came into being and why they are better than alternatives. Auroville is being called upon to justify and defend itself and there is a need to become more collectively conscious about what is actually happening here and why it is important. Strength in this knowledge can work on a different level than egoistic reactions.

About myself

After identifying myself and my life's purpose completely with Auroville for years, I had to break this pattern and seriously consider the possibility that I might have to leave. I've become more conscious that behind the form of Auroville is what is creating Auroville, and this is indestructible. I've developed a stronger love for my home country and see differently many things that used to trouble me.

(36 years old, 10 years in Auroville)

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About Auroville

Given I was 16 when everything started, Dec. 2021 was also a general sort of introduction to Auroville politics. The place that had always been just home was starting to reveal previously unnoticed nuances. I began observing how many different interpretations exist about what Auroville is and how it should proceed, and how people approached these things. Aurovilians can be very passionate, but that passion can get directed towards very different things, some I agree with and some I don't. In a paradoxical way, this produced both a greater love for Auroville and maybe also some disappointment. 

About myself

This was my first time in the middle of a conflict. I found that my first instinct was to jump all in, and I initially stayed at the Youth Centre all day, every day. I needed to be completely immersed, know all the details and always be doing something. While I didn't really get too emotional throughout all the numerous tense moments, I found it did affect me in other ways, and I was very on edge in a way.

(17 years old, 17 years in Auroville)

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About Auroville 

Auroville is both much more fragile and much more resilient than I ever believed. The infrastructure and systems we have built can easily be dismantled. On the other hand I have seen the power of community. I have seen that the true value of what has been built in Auroville is a community of people who care about each other.

About myself

I have learned that I really care about Auroville. Growing up here, I loved Auroville, but I took it for granted. Living through the last year in Auroville, I feel - perhaps incorrectly - that I understand much better the pioneering spirit of the first generation that moved to Auroville. There can be no true sacrifice to the divine with a guarantee of security. Therefore I feel like the last year has helped me to understand the spirit in which Auroville was founded. I have also learned how angry and sad small things can make me. For example, when decorations were being put up before an official festival to celebrate some anniversary this past year, I was so upset to see small children being made to do the electrical wiring work in the trees. I have learned how attached I am to things in Auroville being done in a somewhat proper manner.

(23 years old, 22 years in Auroville)

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About Auroville

I have learned that people in Auroville are called to work on Unity at all levels and all the time, very concretely. I have learned that some persons or groups would like to use Auroville for their own wishes and interests.

I have learned that Auroville was stagnating for too long, and the horrible events that happened, as horrible as they were, have been a wake up for Aurovilians, to take charge and gather in Unity.

About myself

I have learned that I am powerful because I can pray. I have to let things go, both at a personal and Auroville community level. I cannot stop what is happening, but I can pray for Auroville to realise itself to its best potential. I pray that beyond my knowledge, from my heart, Auroville is realising itself.

(29 years old, 4 years in Auroville)

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About Auroville

There are two kinds of people in the world -- those who live in Auroville and those who want to live in Auroville (some people who live in Auroville don't want to live here, but that's another story). Which means we have to do something for all of humanity. Therefore, instead of building the city the earth needs, we need to build the earth the city needs.

About myself

I need to take myself less seriously. I have a few years left on a speck of dust on the outer reaches of a galaxy, which is one among billions of such galaxies in the observable universe, which in turn might be an infinitesimally small part of the whole Universe.

(56 years old, 7 years in Auroville)

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About Auroville

The past year has been intense for a lot of us, the confusion, the unsettled thoughts, and with many feeling they were or might become refugees. It is very difficult to live in that situation. It brings you nowhere and you are constantly stuck in a loop. Many a time, this past year, the thought would just come into my mind, why am I entertaining these negative thoughts and entities that are constantly attacking? Auroville is not about assets, roads, buildings, fascist ideas, or any authorities trying to claim it as its own. Auroville is much bigger. It has existed beyond all these difficulties and situations that have tried to break the collective consciousness. What I have realised is that if Auroville has to exist, it will exist with both the sides. There is nothing good and nothing bad, it’s the constant experiment which helps Auroville survive. 

About myself

I learned to be more mindful of my purpose here and to ground myself in that purpose. It was very important for me to dissociate myself from the drama and negative energy that was thriving, to not give importance to any of the beings that want to break your trust, your journey, and impose their ideas and ideologies. And the minute one can stop reacting and the minute one cannot take these ideas and drama personally, it helps you to focus on your purpose and your spiritual path in Auroville and to remain centered on that. Having this tension and going through this phase where you reach an edge, where you ask if this is the end of your idea or perception of what Auroville was, you find a balance. The games are constant, but I have learned not to take that energy of sadness and crisis as the center of life, not to protest constantly, but to continue my own journey.

(29 years old, 6 years in Auroville)

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About Auroville

It has become clear and unmistakable to me that spiritual ego and ambition are at the same level as license and free indulgence of the lower nature. In fact I see that it is worse.

It has become so clear to me that in the measure that Aurovilians open themselves more and deeper to the Spirit of Auroville, to the New Consciousness, to The Mother and Sri Aurobindo, move closer to the Truth, in that measure Auroville will grow and develop accordingly. All outside measures, circles or tricks are a vain chimera, and will lead nowhere.

It dawned on me that these events reveal the birth of the Auroville religion. If this succeeds, if the Auroville community cannot stop this, it will be as oppressive as other religions. The first signs of this are clearly visible, for example, in visa issues. 

I have not been able to understand why there is such reluctance to admit that the age of ties to the 1960s is over. There is a reluctance to look to the Future, to what the Mother wants today, to how the Mother, The New Consciousness, the Auroville Spirit see the development of Auroville today, now.

About myself

These events were a big blow to me and to many others, I was (am?) too open to the effect of the negative destructive forces that were set in motion after Dec 5th 2021. Looking in 'Some Answers from the Mother," I was as it were put back on my legs again, and stronger than before. I received clear indications and answers to personal issues.

I learned that there is a lot to learn about oneself! 

(65+ years old, 40+ years in Auroville)

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About Auroville

Auroville is undoubtedly worth fighting for, worth living for. What an experiment though! The one place on earth where people have a real opportunity to take a long hard look at themselves in the mirror and "(hu)man up", over and again. Warning: Side effects may include (non-exhaustive list) choosing to not fall in tamas; learning to temper one's temper; staying strong in one's stand but also ready to compromise; trying to find the middle-forward path; celebrating one's flexibility, plasticity and adaptability (mental, physical, emotional, psychological, integral)...

Note: quite a few mirrors seem to be missing these days, time to look for one and see what stares back...

About myself

I have deeper reservoirs of compassion, communication, and compromise than I imagined.

I had to fine-tune my skill-set in patience, perseverance, and purpose to meet the moment.

For myself, I have learnt the importance of silence, self-preservation, and surrender.

(36 years old, first 19 years + last 8 years in Auroville)

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About Auroville

Until the incidents at the Youth Centre at the end of 2021, I thought things in Auroville were working just fine, and I didn’t feel any specific need to know what was going on. I didn't know anything about all the infrastructure or the way that things were organised. Since that time, I’ve learned a lot about how Auroville functions, about Auroville as a whole. I realised I needed to know these things in order to play my part here.

About myself

This then led to some self-realisations both about what I believe and what I want for Auroville and for myself: 

I believe in participatory discussions and decision making. We’re here for human unity. I think discussion and being able to speak with each other is a very basic level of human unity, to be able to at least listen to each other. And I feel that's not exactly what’s happening at the moment from all sides.

I would like to settle in Auroville. In order for that to happen, I decided to focus on things that I can be passionate about and that can lead towards the Auroville that I would like to see. So, for example, I’m heavily involved in trying to create community events that bring people together in joy and harmony, or that promote discussion and education in areas that aren’t talked about enough. 

I believe that transparency, honesty, and compassion need to be built into the way units and Auroville as a whole are organised. In the unit where I work, we are really trying to do this first hand, to lead by something of an example.

(25 years old, 12 years in Auroville)

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About Auroville

What I've learnt about Auroville in the last year is that Auroville is not a place but a people. In December 2021, the week before everything was torn down at the Youth Centre, I experienced what community means. People dropped whatever they were doing to support each other. People whom I had never met came up to me to see if I was okay. Not for a second did I feel alone. To me, this is a prime example of what Auroville is. You can take down the buildings and tear down the trees, but it's the people who hold it together. I have seen people give so much and expect nothing in return. People who believe Auroville is worth fighting for. To me they are Auroville. 

About myself

As to what I've learnt about myself, I've grown to understand that I cannot exist on my own. I can never be fully independent because we as people need each other. I will always rely on others for support and others will rely on me and that is a beautiful thing. I know that if I decide to live here, there will always be people who will support me if I need it. As long as the people are here, Auroville will always be home to me.

(17 years old, 14 years in Auroville) 

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About Auroville

I've learned once again that I can neither rely on Auroville nor on the Aurovilians living here - but as ever, the lesson is simply to surrender to a higher power.

About myself

I've learned that I'm even more naive than I thought, and that despite all my efforts to the contrary it would appear that I still haven't managed to purge the last vestiges of idealism out of my system.

(50+ years old, 25+ years in Auroville)

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About Auroville

To my dismay, contrary to its boastings, I find Auroville today extraordinarily ordinary. 

'If one has not gone beyond that'. We've not gone beyond that ordinariness. 

I expected 'Auroville should be at the service of Truth, beyond all social, political and religious convictions.' However, I find the present Auroville conveniently reeling under lies, gossips, and reneging. 

'To be a true Aurovilian one must never lie.'

'Auroville is an attempt towards world peace, friendship, fraternity, unity.'

I think Auroville's purpose and use are also at the global, macro, and universal levels. Whereas, we're merely, ignorantly embroiled in the nitty gritties, micro, and the local issues. 

'At last a place where one will be able to think only of progressing and transcending oneself.

At last a place where one will be able to live in peace, without conflicts and without rivalries of nations, religions and ambitions.

At last a place where nothing will have the right to impose itself as the exclusive truth.'

We're yet to become worthy of the place we all claim to be ours. 

About myself

I'm learning about myself, that I'm no more a people pleaser. For good. I'm also discovering that I'm increasingly far less worried about making a fool out of myself. Unlike before, when I would put a lot of effort into crafting and handling my personal image. This is a telltale for me that I'm departing from my ego self. I am also learning about myself, that I'm far less emotional and sentimental than I thought I am. 

(40 years old, 7 years in Auroville)

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About Auroville

My learning of Auroville in the last year has had two aspects.

One is the learning about the Auroville community and the other is the learning about Auroville, the vision of Sri Aurobindo and the dream of the Mother.

While I find my understanding of the former becoming more and more complex, I am beginning to find the simplicity of the latter.

During November- December 2021, I was part of a group that was deliberating a new process for decision making in Auroville. We were meeting every week to ‘catch’ the insights emerging from all of us and from the group as a whole. At some point, we were discussing how cumbersome the current governing system of Auroville is and we could empathise with the people who were part of it. When we explored the question of how this can be simplified, we reached a rather simple conclusion. If all Aurovilians become ’True Aurovilians’, we wouldn’t need such a tedious system of organisation. While this may seem obvious, it was a realisation for me, both funny and profound at the same time. And it is something that I think underlines our current predicament.

About myself

My reaction to the events of December 2021 was a deep sense of confusion. Confusion about not why what happened happened. But confusion about my response to the situation.

I was trying to understand how I felt with what was going on, what it meant for my love for the dream and my service to the community.

After many months of trying to find answers with people and in discussions, I realised that the best I can do is to be truthful and sincere in my work. I realised also that I am not attached to Auroville, the community, but more to Auroville, the dream and that the Dream is immortal and lives eternally in our hearts. This gave me the assurance that if I continued to do the work that life brings to me, I will be serving the purpose of Auroville. Through my work, I am learning to see true equality of all, freedom for all and a spiritual brotherhood that we came here for.

I found a brilliant quote in a conversation shared by a friend that summarises how I feel at the moment:

"Good democratic citizenship requires that we sometimes do non-political things with others, but it also requires that we sometimes do political things all by ourselves.”

(33 years old, 3 years in Auroville)

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About Auroville

We are not together. Not divided - but separated in our identities. When we focus on the inner work to get beyond personal identity and get together within, inevitably we will get together as a community.

About myself

I am not together within because the flame that has to occupy my every living second is absent. Our collective work has manifested a beautiful life, in which I have comfortably settled. I have settled for less and I am not moving toward why I have come here because I face no consequence for not pushing myself.

It is very easy to excite me, manipulate me. I learnt this through the current events. I want to cultivate samata. Accidentally I learnt that by distancing myself from any event I have a better chance of understanding it and contributing constructively. I learnt the importance of samata.

(46 years old, 23 years in Auroville)

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About Auroville

I learned that Auroville is more resilient than I can ever fathom it to be. The intangibles that are shared through Love and solidarity, that Spirit of Auroville reassures me that it is not up for grabs. I have learned that whatever happens only brings us together in a more genuine way, and that we are here to grow into better versions of ourselves. I have learned about Auroville that it is in a transitional period, and some old structures are getting shaken up... only to make way for a more integrative and flexible interpretation of what is to manifest.

About myself

I have learned that I have the ability to choose love over fear, to chose personal growth over the expectation that others change. I have the ability to hold in me the Spirit of Auroville and keep out any vibration that would shake my faith in it. I have learned that I have a very large family, and am more than ever connected to my fellow Aurovillians, even when I don't see them - like in that circle we made in Certitude where you absolutely could not see the person on the other side, but know for sure that we are all holding hands, and thereby connected. I am connected to everyone who finds a moment of love and gratitude for the Auroville around us!

(60 years old, 30 years in Auroville)

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About Auroville

What happened? A dominant obsession that outward implemented measures can dictate the journey of the inner soul. A lining-up of events and persons, discovering a fertile ground for the outburst of deeply hidden frustrations and unfulfilled desires about the functioning and the future of the Auroville experiment, amplified with appropriating the exclusive right to decide about the future development of the City the Earth Needs. A tectonic shift of unfolding events where truthfulness was replaced by untruth, aspiration for harmonious development by divisions, kindness and largeness flipped to unbridled ambition, deep-seated selfishness, incurable smallness. What has been omitted is the fundamental aim of human unity contained in the Charter.

About myself 

Given that we traverse the most uncompromising opposite of what we want to realize, there is an ultimate certitude that the avalanche of untruth will dissolve. The earlier lukewarm interest about Resident Assembly affairs changed into an awareness that the principle of being granted equal status for this constituent is crucial for experimenting with an efficient governance model. The continuing inner self-exploration enlarged to strengthen, to demand the emergence of an enduring harmonious fraternity, a group soul, able to counteract the ongoing deviations of Auroville’s Charter. Intruding external factors will only be overcome by safeguarding, nurturing, the commitment to the deeper given aims of this unique earth journey. 

Nobody can comprehend to what extent the Lord is intermingled and present and active in all things.’

(65+ years old, 50 years in Auroville)

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About Auroville

That we cannot leave our skeletons in the closet too long. We have some big elephants in the room that have been swept under the carpet - like the planning issue - but at a certain point these things have to be addressed. 

This is a very fertile moment to define what is important in Auroville, and it reminds me of the importance of focusing more on what is here today and where to go from here, rather than on how things ‘should’ be. It’s an invitation to build from our ground realities, from our ‘here and now’, moving forward.

It is also a good reminder that in the end nothing is really under our control and that it all belongs to something higher, and whatever circumstances are chosen by That for us to evolve. 

About myself

It taught me that I have a spine, that I have courage. I remember that in my history classes 10 years ago, when I was studying Nazism, I wondered if I would have had the courage to stand against that. Now I understand that I would have definitely stood for what my truth is, and acted from that. That’s a very important learning for me.

I also find the ideal of Auroville and teachings of the Mother much more embodied in the day-to-day work of certain people working on the land than in the big discourses and words of those who wear white clothes and say that they act on Their behalf. I’m more of an ‘intellectual’ who never really had the occasion to work on the land, so that’s a real personal learning.

(28 years old, born here and spent 14 years in Auroville)

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About Auroville

That this place keeps surprising us and making us learn always.

That Auroville does not belong to the Aurovilians, but has a much greater and higher destiny than anyone who lives in it may even think.

That Auroville constantly tests us with permanent and endless challenges, and we cannot remain accommodated in an apparent tranquility, when we have come to expose ourselves to an adventure in the unknown. That Auroville is always a miracle and a great privilege to participate in it.

About myself

That I have the strength to face people who insult me and accuse me and yell at me, without it affecting me and making me angry.

Also that popularity or sociability does not interest me in the least.

That my faith does not depend on circumstances and that it is always present and alive despite everything that may happen outside.

I have learned to continue to love people for their sincere aspiration and dedication, not for their opinions.

But I can't stand betrayal or hypocrisy.

That I am not capable of changing things, not even of having an impact in my surroundings.

And in the end, I have learned that the only thing and above all that keeps me in Auroville is The Mother and being able to collaborate in doing her work.

(60 years old, 28 years in Auroville)