One dream and many questions

I found myself in Auroville in a way that many other children do, with a suspiciously large number of suitcases and a one way ticket. Never could I have imagined that this would be the greatest adventure I had ever known.

At a young age, my brother and I were brought to Auroville by our family from Gujarat, India. The reason was simple – our parents wished us to get an education which went beyond grades and examinations, hardly anticipating that our future aspirations would take shape so significantly around Auroville.

I remember feeling ecstatic on my first day at school. There were trees everywhere, we had clay, crafts and painting classes and I could run around barefoot! Perhaps because I had spent the first eight years of my life in a traditional education system, in the frantic life of a city, I immediately saw Auroville as a place of magic.

The little girl who had experienced school as a line of dark corridors in a crisply ironed uniform and had only known her teachers as sirs and madams, thought she had entered a fairytale. And fairytales always have magic. This magic was the red sand between my tiny toes – always connected to the earth. This magic was my new friends who didn’t look like me – but we all laughed and played together. This magic was my young teachers – who were strong, determined, kind and most of all, had this unwavering spirit of offering and service to the fairytale land. I was fascinated by it.

Once a year, we would go back to the ‘outside world’ and visit our family in Surat, one of the largest cities in Gujarat. My worn out red stained chappals would have to find a place in the back of the cupboard and a pair of clean, fancy sandals would strap themselves around my feet. The city was no joke.

I would meet my cousins and friends briefly – they were quite busy with their grades and examinations. Hearty congratulations and chocolates would be offered to those with ‘A’s on their marksheets. I began to wonder where my hearty congratulations and chocolates were. Was it extremely difficult to study in a ‘proper’ school? Perhaps I simply didn’t have it in me?

At 13, I found an opportunity to answer these questions and enrolled in a ‘proper’ high school system within Auroville. Was I capable of adapting to a new environment with new challenges? As it turned out, I was. I grew to enjoy academics and a variety of subjects that were offered. Grades became little affirmations of my abilities and exams became specific goals to work towards and accomplish. I collected many A’s and hearty congratulations, but realised I had never really liked chocolates, anyway.

There were some challenges that I hadn’t expected to face. I started struggling to find a sense of belonging amongst my peers: suddenly there was not much I had in common with them. We didn't laugh and play with the same things anymore and the only thing that seemed to be shared was our childhood in the fairytale land. I felt out of place, uncomfortable with myself and my surroundings. The absence of new people and new energy in my life nudged me to consider a change in environment. The idea of a university life, where I would have similar interests with many more people my age, became a new beginning that I looked forward to. By the time I completed high school, my mind was made up to pursue further education outside of Auroville. But what would that be?

The outside world was terrifying – without Auroville, I was probably nothing. That was my only mark of identity. Who was I, other than an Auroville child?

Up until now I had never considered what Auroville truly meant to me. It was my home, my family was here, and I had a regular routine between school, sports and other activities. But I had also been taught that there was a larger vision, a Dream that Aurovilians are to manifest. For the first time, I began to ask myself whether this journey was something I actively wanted to be a part of. If yes, how could I be a part of it?

I sensed an aspiration to feel within me the magic I had felt in the people around me, the magic shaped by a firm resolve towards achieving this Dream. Putting a hold on further education plans, I took a year to explore Auroville in a deeper sense to answer the questions that had been nagging me. As a young adult, why couldn't I find work here to gain financial independence? We had many decision making groups and decision making processes, but why weren’t more people like myself – the youth – involved in these systems?

I decided that I would be that youth. My fairytale land has been a constant source of opportunities and explorations throughout my life. It has shaped me into the individual I am. Now, I wanted to help shape Auroville into the city it envisions to be.

During this gap year, I took part in many architecture and spatial design workshops and discovered a passion to learn about how people interact and move within public spaces. These spaces could become the physical environments where our individual selves could begin to merge into a collective. My experiences of our communal spirit have always come from spaces of gathering: Solar Kitchen, where we can share a meal with our entire community; amphitheaters and auditoriums where we come together to celebrate our diversity; our mud roads where we stop for a moment to chat with a familiar passerby. I think the human unity we strive for already exists in these spaces and these encounters. The individual lives we live within our houses spill out here, to create the unified spirit we have always known.

In 2018, I enrolled in a Bachelor degree of Urban Design, at CEPT University, Gujarat – a 5 year multidisciplinary course geared towards developing skills to design public spaces and rethinking the nature of our future urban habitats. My goal was defined: what could I learn about public spaces and people? What could I learn about urbanisation, a phenomenon Auroville is destined to experience in its future? What could be brought back and offered to Auroville, in its journey forward?

Over the course of my studies, I have had the opportunity to study and design for public life in many different contexts and cities of India. I studied heritage neighbourhoods in the old town of Ahmedabad, where mediaeval monuments are still alive with activity, and learnt how different communities engage in vastly different lifestyles. I studied slum settlements in Dharavi, Mumbai, where populations have migrated from across the country and created their own dignified world despite the economic challenges.

During the pandemic, when classes had shifted online, I had the opportunity to study public behavior patterns on our very own main road in Kuilapalayam! I observed how the shops and cafes have become important nodes for encounters not just between Aurovillians, but with people from the bioregion and beyond. I also observed how, perhaps, the boundary between what is considered a neighbouring village and what is considered Auroville has started to merge as our activities and lives have started to merge. Whereas these remain observations for now, I believe such kinds of studies have the potential to inform our future growth. My project was recognised for its sensitivity and depth of research and I was awarded for being one of the top performing students of the university.

Thanks to the virtual classes, I was also able to attend the Dreamweaving Workshops that took place in Auroville. They brought together experts on planning, infrastructure, architecture and design to brainstorm upon Auroville’s path of development. I was invited to be a focus group participant from a ‘young urban design perspective’ and was introduced, for the first time, to the vast number of people who have been working in the same areas that I am so intrigued by.

I have never felt the magic stronger than I did during these workshops. There was a palpable spirit of togetherness, which reflected in the many ideas that were presented and shared. I was encouraged tremendously by this experience and my own journey seemed to be on the right path.

During the past four years, the experience of living in a metropolitan city – with its frantic pace and its enormity – has been overwhelming. My naivety was quickly crushed when I learnt of the stubborn presence money tends to have in all social, cultural and educational interactions. Out there, progress seems to be governed less by one’s sincerity and more by one’s economic wealth.

Fortunately, I did not have to overcome these challenges alone. The support I have received from Auroville, from people and institutions alike, has been extraordinary. Professionals in the field of architecture and design have mentored and guided me, I have been granted scholarships to pursue my studies and have received countless words of encouragement. These experiences constantly fortify my belief in my fairytale land with its special Dream. Not only has it taught me to look deeply within myself and to discover what I am capable of, it unceasingly gives me the strength to fight for my aspirations.

Yet, during the past four years, the experience of a metropolitan city – with its constant activity and granted anonymity, has been exhilarating. I have grown to be comfortable with myself and my surroundings. In a sea of young people like myself, I was pushed to create my own identity. I learnt to recognise my flaws as well as my strengths and to hold myself with confidence regardless of either. The city is no joke but now my red stained chappals strut proudly under my feet.

At university, I realised Auroville has honed in me the ability to respect people’s beliefs and ways of life, and absorb from them what I think is valuable. It has taught me how to be receptive and approach situations from multiple perspectives. This reflects in my work, which takes shape with considerable sensitivity and depth. There is an absolute need to do my best because I am not just an individual but a representative of Auroville. The sincerity in my work is not my own, it is the sincerity of an entire Vision, one that is easily dismissed as an unachievable utopia.

Friends often ask about this ‘utopia’, but there is always a slight hesitation to answer. Will I be able to do justice to the profundity of Auroville with my simple words and sentences? How can I talk of something that I myself am still discovering? Over time I’ve learnt not to be bogged down by these thoughts. I am proud to share what I know, and eager to learn what I don’t; my experience is as meaningful as any other.

As I approach the final year of my course, more curious than ever to see where this remarkable journey will take me, I have the opportunity to step into the larger world and study in Milan, Italy where another new beginning awaits me. I look forward to learning of the innovation taking place around the world in the field of urban design and planning. I believe the more I can experience, the more I will be able to bring back.

The further I move from Auroville, the closer I feel to it. I believed that without Auroville, I would be nothing. I now realise there is no such thing as being ‘without’ it; it is within me. Once in a while I’ll miss the breeze and the soil. Once in a while I’ll miss my family and friends. Yet every time I begin to doubt myself or my journey, a force grips me tightly and the path reveals itself once again.