Reaping Mother’s gifts

I was born in Pondy and grew up there until I was 6 years old. In 1968, we moved to Alankuppam, which was my father’s village. My family owned some land in the intended Auroville Township area. So I used to go to the fields with my parents on the weekend when they would organise the farming work there.

I am someone who loves to see new things. So at that time, when I went to our farm land on the weekends, I saw there were these young people, super friendly, who were starting to work on Auroville land. I felt a good connection with those people. I didn’t know who they were, but I would go every weekend just to see what they were doing.

My mother worked in the amphitheatre. When The Mother passed away, she got a chance to see the body. She talked about it, and I told her, “You are so lucky, amma.” I don’t know why I said that, but I had heard my family refer to The Mother as a guru of the Ashram.

Auroville calling

After finishing high school, I was supposed to continue with higher studies. In the summer holiday, I happened to go to the Auroville Bakery, then located at Celebration. Sundaram was working at the bakery, so that’s how we met. It wasn’t easy to do at the time, but we got married. This was in 1979.

I have always been interested in new things and equality. Arriving in the village after living in Pondy, I experienced the difference. Girls in the village didn’t ride bicycles, but I rode one. I wasn’t allowed to sit with any man, not even my father. Neighbours and relatives told my parents they were giving their daughter too much freedom. Later, when I chose my husband myself instead of agreeing to a traditional arranged marriage, the neighbours and relatives again blamed my parents for giving me too much freedom.

So then I came to Auroville, and stayed here, and it was a very nice experience. I became a member of the community after I got married, but I didn’t go through any process or meeting. People who knew me spoke to the Entry Group about what I was doing.

Judith in Angira’s Garden had asked me to take care of her baby so she could work. There were more children in that area, so I was asked to take care of those children too. Everybody had to work. They were all planting the trees, working here and there, and I was taking care of the children. Everyone liked how I handled the children. And then my son was born.

At that time, there was no school for younger children. So then in 1982, the Crèche started at Samata’s place in Transformation. All the small children were brought there, and parents would take it in turn to go twice a week. My husband couldn’t always leave the bakery, so I got a chance to go even more often. And people saw that I was more connected with the children, so they asked me to work more.

Then it was felt that a Kindergarten was needed for children once they turned four years old. We started in 1984 with one big hut, Miriam and myself, with several young people. Odile also joined after two years. And we three are still there.

Unending education

When I came to Auroville, there was so much dialogue, real education, not like in the books. I’m a person who asks a lot of questions, and when I asked, people gave explanations I could understand. “You see that when we plant trees, the soil will not go away from here.” Even if you didn’t ask, they would give information. They were happy to tell you what Auroville was about, why they had come. Without pulling, we could get information.

Meenakshi was like a treasure. She really explained each thing individually. How much you could take, she would always give, and she would give all the information in Tamil. I would ask when the Matrimandir would be finished. Meenakshi would say that if we all think of it, it will be finished. We all have to work, not only physically but internally also. It was a really good opportunity to learn about the Mother, Sri Aurobindo, the yoga, and what Auroville was going to be.

Barbara from the Matrimandir office would give us a class every week. Then it became twice a week. It was spiritual talk, but for us it was like a storytelling. She would make coffee for us, and we would sit and drink and listen to her talk about the Mother, the story of her life, how she was when she was young, how she went to Japan, how she came to Pondicherry and met Sri Aurobindo. It was not like what I read. It was alive. And then we would have discussions about the stories. Nobody does that now. That is really lacking now.

There was a lot of group meditation and connective activity. We were living at Kottakarai Farm, and everyone would sit together every week. It was new to me. Sitting together in silence, chanting Om, thinking on the development of this place. Not verbally, but deeply. So you don’t even need to speak, you will feel that energy. Automatically I could understand.

The amphitheatre and Matrimandir work were just starting. We were brought to the Matrimandir site, and we would sit there under the banyan tree. That time there was no road, and transportation was only by cycle, horse cart or bullock cart. If we went to the Free Store or the library, we would also stop at the Matrimandir site. It was another opportunity for us. It was not finished, but we felt a pull to go, we wanted to see the progress, and we would always feel different when we sat under the tree. There is a special feeling when you sit there.

I also read a lot. We had a good connection with some Ashram people. And they gave me many books in Tamil, about the Divine, about education, about Mother’s life. So I had this opportunity to read, and then I shared the books with all my friends and other people who wanted to read about these things. The people in the Entry Group knew I had these books. They would send [Tamil speaking] people to me, after they joined Auroville, to borrow the books.

There wasn’t an easy relationship between Auroville and the Ashram at that time. But my son was born on April 4th, the day that Sri Aurobindo arrived in Pondicherry. So every year, we would go to the Ashram on that day, and they would open the doors and call us inside.

Then I became good friends with Sadhana at the Ashram. Mother herself had named Sadhana’s son when he was a newborn baby. After that, we would go to the Ashram quite often to visit Sadhana and to see the samadhi. And every time, Sadhana, who worked at the Ashram bookshop, would offer me a book. I read many books on educating children, what to do, how to do it.

Sadhana would also come and stay with us in Auroville. And she shared how she came to the Ashram, how she surrendered to the Mother, how she was given many opportunities to take care of different things at the Ashram, all her direct experiences with the Mother.

Taken separately, these were all small things, but they built up my spiritual capacity. I would not say that I chose to come to Auroville. Mother invited us. I strongly believe that people join Auroville by Mother’s invitation. We are the tools to realise her dream. I also believe that Mother chooses the children who are born in Auroville. That is my strong faith. That’s why I feel that the children of the Kindergarten are special. More than that, we cannot differentiate between people who came before or after. Mother has brought us here at different times to do the work. And more than outside work, we have to do the work inside ourselves. Mother has given us the opportunity to do this yoga. That is the unending youth and learning Mother talked about.

The yoga

When I joined, I wouldn’t say I came to find a spiritual place. I came and learned from people who were doing their karma yoga. So I had the opportunity to grow. Some people feel they have to sit and do yoga asanas. Some people feel their work is their yoga. So everyone practices and experiences yoga and spirituality in a different way. It was very important for me to participate in the growth of Auroville, in Mother’s dream, as a yoga. I feel most connected to what I learned here, to Mother and Sri Aurobindo, but even they left us free to look within ourselves to grow and find our spirituality. That is why the Matrimandir is there. Everywhere else in the world, there is some figure, some practice. Here we don’t have anything. We can just sit with an empty mind to receive and connect to the Divine Consciousness.

Whatever work you do, even pulling weeds, if you sincerely give your heart, that is the yoga. You can connect through that. When I work with the children and see the growth of the children, that is my yoga.

Auroville has given me many priceless and unbidden opportunities to learn about education, organic farming, and inner and collective work. These opportunities have taken me to the USA, Spain, France, and the UK. I believe each of these was Mother’s choice, a gift of knowledge and understanding that I could pass on to Auroville through my work.

But I feel that the environment in Auroville has changed too much. When people join Auroville now, they don’t have access to the kind of welcome, sharing, and openness I experienced and grew with. The collective sense of togetherness is not strong, and everyone is busy running like a horse with blinders on. I hope the community can find the affection, forgiveness, and trust to participate, talk, take decisions, and work together for the Auroville everyone came here to achieve.