Aurovilian?

I came back to Auroville as a young adult at 21, and found myself working in the Entry Service. Even though I had already had the privilege to sign my B-form at 18, I was curious about what the Newcomers went through. In a way, the Newcomers helped me deepen my understanding and clarify my commitment to this community.

At a General Meeting at the Unity Pavilion about the Newcomer process, I remember one of my team members trying to explain to the crowd the difference between “Aurovilian” with one “L” and “Aurovilian” with two. Many did not understand the point of this differentiation, but I was intrigued. She was trying to differentiate what it meant to carry the Auroville spirit, versus the technicality of the word.

So, what does it mean to be announced as “Aurovilian” at the end of one’s Newcomer period? If all goes well, the applicant is announced, confirmed, signs a form, and then is entered in the official ‘Register of Residents’. But, I had been on the ‘Master List’ since birth. Was I not “Aurovilian” until I turned 18? If I spent too many years out, would I have to prove myself again? Many questions circled my young mind, as I could not accept the current definition of Aurovilian as a status.

Many Aurovilians hold on dearly to the arrogance that sometimes accompanies the status. Many Newcomers strive to join this superiority club. “Let me help you understand what Auroville is all about,” I have felt it too, what a boost to my ego… to feel that I could guide another.

I was well aware that the Mother had been clear that joining Auroville was a choice. An inner choice, to be made by each individual who resonated with the Charter and the Dream, and who embodied a willingness to work towards the vision of an integral life.

Both my parents had been born into the community. So, often when people asked me where I am from I would simply state “I am from here, from Auroville. My grandparents brought me here. My parents were born here , and so was I.”

Identity is a fascinating construct that I, we, all play with in our minds. I was always very reluctant to claim an identity as my own. It was more liberating to not-belong. I remember gaining clarity, at an International Zone meeting, when I was in my early 20s and was still exploring what Auroville had to offer. I sat in on their Monday meetings for a year, and listened carefully, admiring their diligent work to represent the world in the zone, but also feeling a deep sense of unease.

Would I ever have a place in the International Zone? Born into Auroville I was aware of my Indian heritage and European background, but I haven't really lived either.

In Kuilaypalayam I was a foreigner, and in the Netherlands I was perceived as a foreigner too.

It is not an unusual feeling for Auroville children. There was no way I could represent the cultures of the Indian or European Pavilions – not whole heartedly at least.

As Auroville kids, we all know our accent can lean towards several directions, depending on our needs at the moment. We’ve learnt to enjoy walking barefoot, but we can also wear that fancy shirt when needed for the Pondy dinners. A chameleon that crosses the dirt road, wide eyed, but hesitant to be seen.

It had always been clear to me that being “Aurovilian” was my aspiration and that I would work hard towards that goal. When I would close my eyes I could feel the Mother laugh with me, I knew that she knew very well. Becoming “Aurovilian” was an intangible goal, a call for evolution, a call to keep persevering to something divine.

Becoming Aurovilian was not something that happened after 1-2 years of work, housing and a supportive mentor. That was just a process for becoming a “Resident” of this locality.

Embodying the Aurovilian spirit was something else. It was much larger than my mind could grasp. It was something I felt strongly in flashes, and simultaneously could feel its constant presence. Enveloping me when I was most shaken. It was something I carried with me as I traveled far. I recognized it in the eyes of those who knew. Being Aurovilian was an aspiration in me and you.

So no, I am not Aurovilian. And neither are you. I am a third generation resident of the Auroville community. We may both aspire towards that spirit together, perhaps we may even embody it for brief moments at a time. But together we enjoy the fact that we have more than enough time to breathe deeply, to play, to run, to swim, to fly higher…