The place you are right now God circled on a map for you

Sheida: I had heard about Auroville from a friend of a friend and I got curious. I checked the website. It looked interesting. One of the attractions was the possibility to study Iyengar Yoga. The other was to explore a different type of life. I decided to come as a volunteer. I quit my job (I am an accountant by profession and a yoga teacher) and came to Auroville in October 2018 . Even though there were many difficult moments, I gradually fell in love with Auroville. And though I had a return ticket in my pocket, I never used it. After volunteering, I became a Newcomer, then an Aurovilian in 2018.

My immediate family – that is my mother, my brothers and my sister, as my father passed away long ago – supported my decision, though they don’t like that I live so far away. I too miss them terribly. I often speak with them and send them photos and show them the beauty of Auroville. But I am careful not to tell my mother about the difficult parts, as I know that would anguish her. I am very much looking forward to seeing them again, when I have to return to Iran to get my five-year Entry Visa. 

Eli: I got to know about Auroville through Sheida. We had been working for the same company in Tehran and had become friends. When my 28th birthday was coming up, she asked me what I would like to gift myself. Would I like to come to India and experience Auroville? I said “yeah, why not,” and got myself a ticket for a ten-day visit to meet Sheida and see Auroville. It was a nice visit. But I never thought about Auroville as a place to stay, and after ten days I returned to Iran. 

But back in Iran I noticed that I had left something behind in Auroville. I got a feeling that I had to go back. But it looked so impossible. Auroville didn’t fit my lifestyle – I had a well-paid job as a chartered accountant, I had worked very hard to get my degree and license, and I lived a life that I very much enjoyed. Or so I thought. For there was an undercurrent of unease. I sometimes felt that I didn’t fit in my society, in my city. I was not really happy. Something was missing, which, I realised, had nothing to do with the situation in Iran; it would also have been missing had I lived in the USA or in Europe. 

So I knew I had to try something else, and the feeling that I should go and try out Auroville became too strong to ignore. Moreover, I had noticed when I was in Auroville that Sheida had changed, even after having stayed there for only six months. I did not have a clear expectation of what Auroville would do for me, but I wondered if I would change as well. I talked to my parents and my brothers, who were all super supportive. And then I jumped.

Avtoday: Most people know little about Iran, only that it has a theocratic conservative regime, that the society is male-dominated and that women suffer many restrictions. What was your experience? 

Sheida: The international perception of Iran is very much coloured by seeing it through a western lens and people don’t know that there is more than a 90% difference between the ‘public’ and the ‘private’ side, which makes life in Iran not all that different from life in other countries. For example, officially, an unmarried woman needs the permission of her father, or if she is a married woman of her husband, to travel. But this no longer holds true in Tehran and other large cities in Iran. I have been free to make any decision in my life, and this was not exceptional. Many of my friends live with similar freedom. It all depends on one’s family. There are, of course, conservative families who follow this rule strictly. 

Eli: Another restriction is the prohibition for women to be outside without a hijab, a headscarf. The Gasht-e Ershad – the Persian morality police which was set up during a crackdown on “un-Islamic” dress in 2007 – has the duty to ensure the observance of this rule and also discourage women from wearing cosmetics, but this is increasingly relaxed. Many women now wear the headscarf as far back on the head as possible, and wear looser clothing. Within the houses, people do as they like and women often wear western-style clothing and even enjoy alcohol, which is legally banned in Iran but which is easily available. 

Sheida: When a government tries to force its citizens to do something they do not want, the citizens will do exactly the opposite. This government is not what each Iranian would have chosen and their rules are not what many Iranians want. So they are often ignored.

But the negative image of Iran is a true burden to carry. People often ask me where I come from, and then I am subjected to a volley of ignorant questions: Do I wear a burka? No, that is not mandatory in Iran. Is it normal that an Iranian woman is beaten up by her husband? No, it isn’t. Are women allowed to drive a car in Iran? Yes, they are. And when they learn that Eli and I are living together, the question if we are a couple, which would be illegal in Iran, is inevitable. (For the record, we are not.)

We get fed up with these type of questions. People don’t realise that we love our country and hate the negative image which the newspapers have been displaying, caused by the conservatism of a government which is not the choice of many Iranians.

Eli: The ignorance about Iran is a bit startling. Many Aurovilians don’t know the difference between Iran and Iraq; one person asked me to teach him Arabic, a language I do not speak, as the official language of Iran is Persian (Farsi). Another one was amazed that I own a laptop and smart-phone, and asked if I had brought them from Iran – implying that such items would not be available in Iran. Then they question how we could get out of Iran, as if Iran is some kind of North Korea, or if we can get back to Iran when we want. Evidently they think that we are some kind of fugitives and that we ran away from Iran because we did not have freedom. But we did not come to Auroville to escape Iran or live with more freedom. We choose to come and live here for reasons that are similar to those of many other Aurovilians. 

But we also received some beautiful reactions about our nationality, especially from those Aurovilians who either have visited Iran – mostly before the revolution – or who have or had some Iranian friends. That helped them to have a better picture of Iran and its people and bridge the huge gap between the people and its regime. Hearing those kind words was heart-touching.

AVToday: You are working in Auroville in your chosen profession, Eli for the Unity Fund and the Budget Coordination Committee, and Sheida for the Budget Coordination Committee. Can you comment on your work?

Eli: Based on our many years of professional experience, we dare say that Auroville’s accounting processes and procedures could be vastly improved. Much is old fashioned and inefficient. Some of this may be due to specific Indian conditions; but certainly, also Aurovilian habits have an influence. Sheida and I have started a new accounting activity for Auroville, and we would be glad to make a study and propose steps towards improvements.

AVToday: Are you both happy now, and did Auroville change you?

Eli: Honestly, I cannot say that I am completely happy, but I am happier than before. In August, it will be two years since I have been staying in Auroville. The first months were super difficult, because I had parted from the group of very close friends and family I had in Iran. There is a big difference between having them close to you and thousands of miles apart. I miss them a lot and I had to adapt to a totally new lifestyle. It was a big challenge. I was fortunate to have Sheida here as my friend. But experiencing Auroville was a decision I had made, and I wanted to give it a full chance. With the passing of time, I started feeling the changes in my life, a kind of inner progress, getting to know myself more. So I am on a journey I am happy with, even if it is still difficult and challenging. I enjoy living close to nature and the wide diversity of opportunities Auroville offers to learn, to try out different things, and to grow. But the feeling of ‘being home’ has only come very recently, a few months ago. I used to say to Sheida that I wasn’t quite sure. But now I am. And I am hopeful about the future.

Sheida: My experience was mixed as well. I lived through some great moments but also had some serious difficulties. But now, I wouldn’t want to go anywhere else. Auroville is home, I am rooted here. For Auroville has so much to offer. You can meet people from all over the world, you can attend amazing workshops and learn from very intense persons – often I couldn’t stop crying when our ways parted. Most importantly, I experienced many times that a certain movement or an incident led to the feeling that someone was tearing my narrow world apart to show me how I can widen out and become more conscious. I deeply saw and feel that nothing depends on anybody, that everything is up to oneself.

AVToday. Do you have a contact with Auroville’s spiritual basis?

Eli: That’s the question they also ask in the Newcomer interview. No, I am not yet familiar with either Sri Aurobindo’s or The Mother’s teachings. I am reading their books, and am trying to understand. But for me, the mental understanding is not ‘it’. Living in Auroville itself is giving me a picture of their philosophy, of what they intend to build. It is more a matter of ‘living it’ than ‘reading it’. That’s the shortcut – you live here and learn in a practical way. 

Sheida: Sri Aurobindo’s and The Mother’s teachings give answers to many questions and help overcome our pains that come from not having a big sight, from living in too small a world. They are like light in dark moments when we are lost, and struggle to find our way to goodness and peace within ourselves and around us. For example, the book Yoga and Health is an eye opener: every time we open it, we get the answer we need. We try to read more of their books to understand what they wish to share – understanding the English language is sometimes a problem – as we feel we owe this to them. 

But I have other role models too. I am inspired by the works of the Persian 12th, 13th and 14th century mystics, such as Omar Khayyan, Rúmí, Saadi and Hafiz. In India, they would be considered as great yogis. Whenever I have time, I open their books, and they fill my heart, my eyes, my breath, everywhere, about learning, about goodness. I am connected to them. But there is time to also get more deeply connected to Sri Aurobindo and The Mother. We have only been here for less than three years. After all, the place we are right now God circled on a map for us...”

The place where you are right now

God circled on a map for you

Wherever your eyes and arms and heart can move

Against the earth and the sky

The Beloved has bowed there - 

Our Beloved has bowed there knowing

You were coming,

I could tell you a priceless secret about

Your real worth, dear pilgrim,

But any unkindness to yourself,

Any confusion about others,

Will keep one

From accepting the grace, the love,

The sublime freedom

Divine Knowledge always offers to you.

Never mind, Hafiz, about

The great requirements this path demands

Of the wayfarers.

For your soul is too full of wine tonight

To withhold the wondrous Truth

From this world.

But because I am so clever and generous

I have already woven a resplendent lock

Of his tresses

As a remarkable truth and gift

In this poem for you.

Hafiz

Translation by Daniel Ladinksy