Subtle communication

What is meant by “communication”? Can verbal address to an individual, the putting up of a notice, making a speech, inserting an announcement in News & Notes or on Auronet, sending an email, a broadcast on AV Radio, dropping off leaflets at people’s houses, using advertisements and posters, or sending a note or writing a letter to someone be seen as communication?

Here in Auroville there is a widespread assumption that communication occurs on each of the above occasions, but does it? The answer – surprising to many people – is “No!” All that is happening is that someone is sending out a message of some sort in the hope that it will at least be heard or read and understood by the individual or audience it is addressed to. But what if the person or people verbally addressed are deaf, or don’t speak the language, or are not even listening to what is being said? What if the notice pinned up or placed in News & Notes or on Auronet is not read, or the person who sees it can’t fully understand the language or content? What if the email, note or written letter fails to reach or be read by the addressee(s)? Or the advertisement or poster is not seen? The answer is that there is then no communication, just an intended communication. The speaker, writer or sender has failed to communicate.

Communication only occurs when the message sent is received by the person or people it is addressed to and is heard/read/seen and understood. That is basic communication. However, there is a further requirement for completely effective communication, and that is that what is basically communicated brings about the effect that is intended, the desired reaction or action on the part of the recipient(s).

The other day in Auroville’s Unity Pavilion, the Auroville Today team hosted a well attended meeting to celebrate the publication’s 30th anniversary, and at the same time to explore with everyone there the topic of communication in the context of Auroville. It was an interesting forum of discussion, with a wide variety of inputs from the attendees, but in virtually every case the focus was on the written or spoken word.

I think that at least basic communication is occurring in Auroville. Then what is it that makes us often feel otherwise? I think that it is not so much about basic communication, but much more about why we so often see no change as a result. Surely it is that that makes us feel we frequently fail to communicate effectively.

If I am right, and we want communication within Auroville to bring about changes for the better, to actually move us closer to the ideal of human unity in diversity that we are here to achieve, then we need to become aware of another form of communication, a much more powerful tool for triggering the changes we want to see in Auroville society, and that is subtle communication.

What is subtle communication? It is being who and what we are, for at all times this is silently and subtly communicating something, whether consciously or unconsciously.

People observing us or encountering us receive a distinct impression of our nature, how we talk, how we behave, how we react in various circumstances – especially difficult situations, how we interact with people from other nations, class backgrounds or age groups, and how we generally conduct ourselves in the society of Auroville. That communication can make a deep and lasting impression on those around us. I know from personal experience in the course of my life that certain people have so impressed me that I have wanted to be more like them. None of them have consciously set out to instruct or guide me as to how to achieve such a change within myself, how to better myself, how to be more conscious or spiritual in my behaviour, yet they have had a major impact on me through being who and what they are. They have subtly communicated something, and that subtle communication has played a life-changing role for me.

For an example of what I am saying, consider one’s parents. In India they – especially the mother – are considered to be the first guru(s) in a person’s life. Whether consciously or unconsciously they are our first role models, yet most of the time they are not aware of this. They can be role models in terms of their best habits and behaviour, but they can also be role models in reverse, highlighting for us the worst possible forms of behaviour, and making us want to be different from them, better than them. Either way, subtle communication is occurring throughout our time with them, and likewise with other family members, friends, teachers, and colleagues at work.

And so, I believe, it can be for all of us. If we constantly watch and monitor ourselves to become the ‘Ideal Aurovilians’ that Mother wants us to be, then like pebbles dropped into a pond the ripples go out and affect all around us. And if those ripples are of a higher nature, then, whether consciously or unconsciously, we are contributing to a further step towards the human unity in diversity that we are here to collectively realise.

Essentially, it is so simple. Only, we need to be aware of it, and the power we each have to raise or lower – consciously or unconsciously, by way of subtle communication – the level of behaviour and consciousness all around us, throughout Auroville, at every moment in every type of circumstance, by just being who and what we are.